bmblackmon@cableone.net

Dear friends,

I have so much to tell that God has done for us and our family in light of losing Brian's father, John, on June 3, 2000 and I would like to share with you some of God's grace, mercy, timing, and loving care in all details in our life. I will tell you now...this is long, so read it in segments, or don’t read if you feel led, but I feel you will be richly rewarded as we have been if you will read on.....

Brian and I just spent a week at home with John and the family. Steve, Brian's brother moved to Minnesota just two days before John passed on. On Memorial Day, all the family gathered at the house for a barbeque, so we had a wonderful time of love and fellowship...what an ending to John's time on this earth. As a matter of fact, on Friday, June 2, Brian had lunch with his dad before he came home to Amarillo. What help for healing this time we spent with John has been.

Also, August of 1998 John had a super minor heart attack. This was a blessing because the tests run as a result led to an emergency quadruple bypass which showed how fortunate we all were that the heart attack was only minor. John's surgery was immensely complicated by advanced emphysema...his lungs were so hardened they could actually not close his chest back up after surgery until they got a lot of swelling down. This surgery was a 7-week stay at Baylor in Dallas and much rehab and other care such as placement on oxygen and many pharmaceutical aides that were required for his life. John did not seem to want to recover at first, but then found the strength and God blessed us with a rich year and a half with him since the surgery. See, we all knew then we almost lost him and that we didn't have too long. Although he was doing so much better since then and thus the passing was a shock, we have been so blessed to spend some true time with him.

At the time of John's surgery in 1998, he called Brian in just before he went into surgery to tell him: "son, no matter what, you finish school." Brian graduated PT school on Saturday May 20, and just four days before John died he saw the videotape of Brian's graduation...he saw his son through school. And, John saw the other son take a large career step and move to Minnesota.

So, you can see why healing has been easier for much of the family...but there is more!

Carla, John's wife, wanted to quit her job in 1998 because she so feared he would pass at home and she'd be at work and not there to help, to call someone, and that she would always wonder what she could have done, and always blame herself for not being there.

Well, that saturday morning, John and Carla were having breakfast. Carla walked into the kitchen and heard a tiny gasp. She walked back to the living room where John sat in his rocking chair where he has sat for years, and his head was gently resting on his left shoulder and the heart attack was so massive, sudden, and quick that there was no suffering...John was at perfect peace, did not show signs of struggling in pain at all, and his color never changed as if he had choked or suffocated. Carla knew there was nothing anyone could do...she was home as she had always prayed and has been given a peace and a lifted burden of guilt. The quickness of passing has also helped Brian because he knows even if he had stayed one more day, there wouldn't have been anything he could have done either.

And God began a year ago with me ... getting me ready to deal with this day. You see, I am historically a girl who stays in bed, well, pretty much ALL morning. But about a year ago, God began to transform me into an early riser. I now am the one who slips out early and closes doors to let Brian rest. Not that he sleeps any later than he ever did, just that I am up that much earlier. So, you see, when we got the call that morning, I intercepted the tears and grief of his mother so that Brian didn't have to hear that way. I had already been up long enough that I was dressed and started in my day so I was able to up and move in a hurry while Brian mourned and showered to go.

And the timing also was such that Brian was out of school, I just finished teaching for the year, and we were both able to leave and honestly not worry too much about when it was time to return...we both knew we were there as long as needed, that we could completely support the family without stress or strain of returning home to Amarillo.

There are so many more things I can tell you and share with you of the many blessings that God afforded our family which has made this so much easier, but I think this is enough to show how He was so truly in all the details, great and small to make a tragic and painful event the best possible and to allow us to use it to witness His love and mercy. God is such an awesome Father who provides such love, grace, wisdom and joy if we only will allow Him and truly look for Him both in the good and the bad.

Copyright 2003 by Michelle Blackmon